The madness of wedding planning just started? How to survive it and the wedding itself? The emotional crisis is close now. So how to pass this probably the first very important test of your relationship.
1. Share your expectations with each other.
When, where, how etc. you want to marry? What do you expect from your wedding celebration? I mean, both of you? Why it is important? I’ll try to keep it simple here. You need to know your partner’s expectations in case you don’t want to disappoint him, right? If your future husband don’t know that from childhood you dreamed that there would be a carriage with white horses in your wedding how for God’s sake he can know that? Unless he can read people minds, of course. You think he’s not romantic? Want that he would say a couple beautiful words to you during wedding reception? Just say it to him. With no anger, no frustration or sarcasm. Just once. Those who love us hear us even if we think they don’t. This will protect you from unrealistic expectations and, at the same time, from big disappointment. However there is one problem here. The difficult with expectations is that sometimes they are… unknown. So you don’t know how your big day should look like. Your future husband doesn’t know as well. Now what?? There is only one answer in my head at the moment. It’s time to search for inspiration whenever you believe you can find it.
2. Make the decisions together.
And alone. Yes, you can listen to your mother, sister, eight girlfriends, the mother or grandmother of the groom as well as you can ignore all that crazy talks. Never forget WHO gets married. It could be said that there are two-futures. And everything in this world depends on the choice. What will be your choice? And what will be your future marital life? Are you gonna listen to the messy crowd of relatives and friends or prefer cosy talk with the most important and cleverest man in your life? I mean, his opinion here is the most important. If he thinks that it isn’t necessary to get married in the church that’s totally fine. It’s your wedding. You are not marring with your religious mother in law, right? She makes you nervous? When just learn not to listen to her. By the way, these ‘studies’ will really help you in further life. You have to take control of your life. And most important…
3. Understand that no one owes you anything.
No one. Your man, mother, bridesmaids, aunties and uncles, the photographer… No one. Of course, the best man can deliver the snacks to the reception and the photographer must finish the job he was paid for. But that’s all. Your best man don’t have to care that food don’t become cold, that the cake didn’t melt in the direct sunlight or to drive all your grandparents home. And you better don’t expect that the photographer will work overtime for free just because he said he likes you a lot. Or that he will make super cool and original photos if you don’t have any decoration for them by yourself. We often have an idea of what our partner, mother in law, dancing teacher etc. should be like. But no one is perfect, you know that. And if you let me to come back to the first tip, unrealistic expectations can ruin not only the wedding reception but also the whole little world of yours. The harsh true is that no one else is living for you because no one else in this crazy world isn’t you. I would like to quote American singer Mary J. Blige here. According to her, even if you feel someone has wronged you or owes you something, no one is going to give you anything for free. Yeah, that’s hard to accept but there will be no happiness in life without even trying to do it. Everyone of us has to live his own life. And when you realize this you’ll be free.
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And now… Keep calm and get married.